I'm officially starting to struggle with the concept of being 50, not because I feel old, but because I feel young. Too young to have that awful number assigned to me. Too young to feel like it's getting too late to have a goal, find my passion, and believe that the best is yet to come. Is it? Really? I'm kind of doubtful but not completely without hope. One positive thing about being "older" is that I have a better handle on perspective. I can acknowledge that being older has it's perks, one of which is not that I will have that body I have always dreamed of, that ship sailed a long while ago. But that for every wonderful, positive, beautiful thing about being 25, there is an equally wonderful, positive, and beautiful thing about being 50 and beyond. Just in a different way. So in honor of being one third of the way through my 50th year (49 and holding) I will commence to write a list of lovely things about being
1. No more babies. Wait, that is a terrible thing, I love babies and I wish I could have had more, I miss being pregnant, nursing, smelling and kissing sweet little baby heads. Ack. This isn't starting out well.
2. No more periods. Wait, I have not reached this point yet. I'm in the anemic, light-headed, homicidal PMS stage of life where I feel like I'm menstruating more than I am not. When I'm not menstruating, I'm usually worrying about when I will be again and where I will be when I discover it.
3. Children raised. This one really actually makes me laugh so hard I may pee my pants (another lovely thing about being mature). I currently have 4 children living under my roof, one is 25 and another is 22. I still have one in high school and I also have an 11 year old. So, yeah.
4. Body acceptance..........Um, nope.
Okay, so I really actually intended to compose a list of positive things but I have quickly discovered that 50 is just a number. It means practically nothing. I am in no way at a point in my life where being 50 is a positive thing. I'm just an older, peri-menopausal, kinda squishy, mom.
I think I will wait 5 years or so and try this again.