Monday, July 25, 2011

Christmas in July

I haven't really talked about the weather in an out and out 'talking about the weather' kind of way for a while, so I'm going to talk about the weather in this here, short little post.

Disclaimer:  I am FULLY aware that the rest of the country is experiencing sweltering, unbearable, and evenly deadly heat.  I feel awful for them and hope it passes soon.

I, on the other hand, am experiencing the coldest, grayest summer of my life.  Granted, I lived in Southern California for the first 18 years of said life, and summers there are pretty fabulous as a rule.  But, as long as I've lived in the Pacific Northwest the summers have been pretty good.  Occasional rainy periods but always long bouts of sun with temps exceeding 80 degrees for extended periods of time.  Perfect really.  This summer on the other hand, went AWOL.  I'm freezing most of the time.  I have a space heater aimed at myself every morning and evening.  Yesterday it was 83 degrees, the pool was filled and we spent the whole day on the deck basking in what would be a fluke, cuz we are back to the northwest gloom today.  I awoke to booms of thunder and gray skies.  Ack.  It's killing me.  I have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) so I NEED the summer more than anyone else in the whole entire world.  I wait and wait, I anticipate the sun's glorious rays shooing away the darkness in my head.  Not good.  I can't wait to get out of this God-forsaken place in August and head towards warmth, desert, dryness.   If things don't improve soon around here I'm just going to get the Halloween decorations out and call it a lost cause.  Ho-ho-ho.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

With my mouth still hanging open...

One of my children, who shall remain nameless because he would kill me if I named him, is about to enter high school.  He is also about to enter puberty, he's a late bloomer.  Anyone who has children of both genders knows that both boys and girls become hormonal messes at this stage in life.  Girls get the bad rap for going crazy during puberty, and again later in life when going through peri and full on menopause.  But, you know what, that's crap.  I have two boys and three girls and I can tell you, my boys cried more and had more breakdowns during this time that all my girls combined.  My friends with boys can attest to this fact. Is this supposed to be some unspoken secret?

Last night I thought I had planned a lovely little summer night outing here in the Arctic Seattle.  We walked down to our local outdoor mall to watch a concert and grab dinner.  This is apparently where things started to go terribly wrong, although I'm not sure why.  First he sits there sullenly with his fingers in his ears because he doesn't approve of the music, I say "hey, why don't you two go into the Apple store and look around while we have a drink and enjoy the music for a while."  Great idea, they head in.  I did not have my cell with me but Mike did.  The "unnamed one" apparently tried calling a million times (twice) but Mike didn't pick up (loud music, duh).  Keep in mind that we never left the place we last saw them, still sitting in the same place and able to see the Apple store from where we are.  Here they come, one looking adorable and perky, the other looking like what I imagine the Menendez brothers looked like just before they murdered their parents.  Really?  Soooo, then I say "let's go get dinner, where do you want to go?"  Grace says buoyantly "Blue C Sushi", I say to the "unnamed one" where would you like to go "unnamed one"?  "I don't care" is the response, still looking like he was born to Satan incarnate.  "Okay, sushi it is"...oops, wrong again.  He sat at the booth glaring at the food as it passed him on the conveyor belt and then occasionally glanced at Satan accusingly.  I say "You know what, it looks like you aren't happy with our choice, we pass McDonald's on the way home, we'll just stop in and get you a burger".  I'm so incredibly nice I can't stand myself.  (I'm tired of using quote marks so I'm going to stop that now)  I bet you can guess what happens next.  We go into McDonald's and the unnamed one isn't hungry, but he's still really mad, about what I'm still not sure.  I'm loosing my cool now and saying some of those evil motherly things that occasionally come from my mouth.    I won't repeat.  Then he says to me that I'm one more word away from him going to live with his father.  Oh, and he isn't going on the road trip with us next month.  Seriously.  Then he runs ahead, over the hill toward home.  It's now dark and I'm pretty sure he is going to pretend that he ran away or something, he'll be hiding somewhere just to teach me a lesson.  As usual, I am correct. He's no where.  I've been a mother for quite some time so I know that the manual states that I am to pretend I'm not concerned.  Turn on the TV and kick back like I don't care. I did that and he did slink in about 15 minutes later, not even a mean looking glance was cast my direction, up the stairs he went and he hasn't spoken to me since.

What the freak just happened?

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I ate.

And ate, and ate some more...and gained back the 3 lbs. I lost from my green cleanse.  Oh well.  I'm going back to a low carb diet, which seems to really be the only thing that has ever worked for me.  I've been carrying around this extra 15 pounds for a few years now and I have to either accept and love it, or get rid of it.  Actually, I'm not sure I can ever love it but maybe acceptance?

I toy with the idea of having a surgery to get rid of the part of me that I really hate the most.  My husband really likes this part of me, but I've never been comfortable being a "chesty" girl and I think that if I was better proportioned I would better be able to live with the weight my body wants to be.  One of these days I will make an appointment for a consultation but I'm not quite ready yet.  I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't qualify for an insurance covered procedure, unfortunately.  I do know that I don't want to live the rest of my life struggling to find clothes that fit right or are comfortable and I would love to walk down the street not feeling as though I'm being checked out by every male (and female) that passes by.  I'm sure it's mostly in my head because I'm so self-conscious about it.  Still, it feels real to me.

We have decided on our next road trip, Silverwood and then a loop through Yellowstone.  Silverwood for the kids and Yellowstone for me.  I know they'll love it when they get there, I can't wait!  I've never been and it's been on my list for years.  Mike has a business trip in Wyoming so it works out well.  I wish we had the time and money to head down to Utah as well, maybe it will work out. 

Friday, July 1, 2011

I did it! Now what?

So I actually made it through the three days without eating any solid food except a bit of watermelon.  And, I actually had a huge burst of energy yesterday, which I am still feeling this morning.  That might be the fact that I'm drinking strong coffee on a very empty stomach, but whatever.  I had very little hunger, a little weakness here and there, but otherwise it was a piece of cake. 

I didn't clean out my system (if you know what I mean) as I'd hoped but I'm optimistic for today.  Now the problem is I don't know what the heck to do.  Should I eat?  What should I eat?  And, guess what, I don't even want to eat!  I'm going to finish off my Naked Green Machine today before foraying into solid food and then I'm just not sure.  Maybe I have acquired one of those eating disorders like I prayed for when I was a teenager.  Just a month of anorexia, that's all I ask! was my fervent prayer. 

I'm taking Gracie out for a haircut today, gonna clean out the trailer (note to self:  get tabs), and obsess about what my first solid meal in four days might consist of.  Mike is on his way back from Canada, and the sun is actually shining in Seattle...pretty much, hallejulah!